in a week where shameless television presenters have once again been outraging the great british public with their offensive comments, i think it’s time that we all just took a deep breath, relaxed and got our sense of perspective back with some good old fashioned family entertainment.

with this in mind i have designed a new funny bonkers and probably whacky character to bring a smile back to the outraged stupid faces of the popuplace. allow me to present to you ‘wee jock mpebo mgambwe mc fuckwitt’ – the one-eyed scottish idiotic golliwog.

i’ve sent a few scripts off to the BBC and i’m just waiting for their reply and a bit of funding before i get cracking on the first couple of epsisodes. but hopefully it willnae be too long before we can all enjoy the crazy fun-filled antics of ‘wee jock mpebo mgambwe mc fuckwitt’, the one-eyed scottish idiotic golliwog and the unpleasant events of this week will be swept away on a tide of helpless family-oriented laughter.

today has been a great day for comedy shopping. not only did i discover the ultimate in infidel-crushing timepieces but also – while doing a quick nip round asda – i came across this magnificent product, which apparently sells like hotcakes to lonely widows and heavily moustacheod gentlemen in suspiciously tight leather trousers. i’ve heard there’s a kosher version as well, but apparently there’s not nearly as much meat in it.

two posts in one day – and both of hitherto undreamt of literary *and* visual excellence. truly i am a god amongst bloggers!

i’m glad that, in a moment of boredom i decided to nip down ‘the bay’ today for a look round – otherwise i’d have missed finding the answer to the burning question “what do you get the nominally religious asian scally with no taste, who has everything?”

why the ‘fully iced out 5 time zone ALLAH hiphop bling watch’ of course!

classy!