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«  the increasingly incontinent ramblings of a drunken has-been irish punk »

archive for 'bilge in the press' category

oink!
21 May 2009

some of you may have read the scurrilous reporting in the daily telegraph the other day, which claimed that, over the past several years, i have habitually been robbing banks and mugging old ladies.
i would like to state quite categorically that these incidents were merely administrative errors on my part and i intend to [...]

from the news of the screws…
03 March 2008

sunday 02 march 2008…

it’s OK - i dinnae think anyone whose tongue isnae permanently coated in royal shite thought you were, diddums!

your mother should know
28 August 2007

OK - here’s an interesting theory for you based - needless to say - on purely fictitious set of circumstances and [libel lawyers please note] not on anything currently in the news:
imagine a couple on a foreign holiday with their small children.  the parents, being a pair of fuckwitts, decide to go out for [...]