October 2007
15 posts
2 tags
dedicated fuckwitts of fashion
my contempt for that large percentage of the female population who would go out wearing a sack of dogshit tied round their waist if some skull-faced bitch in cosmopolitan told them to - and would then ponce round looking down their snotty noses at anyone ‘uncool’ enough not to be similarly attired - knows almost no bounds. every year there’s some new ‘must have’...
dedicated fuckwitts of fashion
my contempt for that large percentage of the female population who would go out wearing a sack of dogshit tied round their waist if some skull-faced bitch in cosmopolitan told them to - and would then ponce round looking down their snotty noses at anyone ‘uncool’ enough not to be similarly attired - knows almost no bounds. every year there’s some new ‘must have’...
dedicated fuckwitts of fashion
my contempt for that large percentage of the female population who would go out wearing a sack of dogshit tied round their waist if some skull-faced bitch in cosmopolitan told them to - and would then ponce round looking down their snotty noses at anyone ‘uncool’ enough not to be similarly attired - knows almost no bounds. every year there’s some new ‘must have’...
2 tags
mastermind sketch
MASTERMIND SKETCH interior. the familiar black chair, spotlit from above. a sweet-looking [if slightly bewildered] old biddy is sitting in the chair clutching her handbag defensively in front of her chest and smiling innocently at the quizmaster. the mastermind theme tune could be fading out in the background. QUIZMASTER your name please BIDDY edith bramble QUIZMASTER and your spe…....
2 tags
butcher's shop sketch
BUTCHER’S SHOP SKETCH interior. a butcher’s shop. the butcher is standing behind the counter, smiling inanely, as a customer enters the shop and approaches him. in fact, throughout the scene both butcher and customer should maintain an almost manically cheerful and enthusiastic disposition. CUSTOMER good morning madam. i would like to purchase a fitted kitchen, please. BUTCHER an attitude...
2 tags
tennis commentator sketch
THE WIMBLEDON COMMENTATOR the commentator is of the ‘old school’ - an old fuddy-duddy type with a public school accent. think “dan maskell”. COMMENTATOR: and so as jock mc tavish prepares to serve in this deciding game, the hopes of british tennis rest squarely on his young shoulders… he bounces the ball… once… twice… he serves… [pause “thwack” noise - roaring...
2 tags
sex therapists TV show sketch
THE SEX THERAPISTS TV SHOW interior. a TV studio. our viewpoint should be as if we are watching the show on television. a middle-aged couple stand behind a desk or podium. behind them on the wall [or emblazoned across the front of the desk/podium] is the show’s title; “THE LOVE DOCTORS” the couple are stereotypically american; fake orange tans, huge fluorescent white teeth and too much...
mastermind sketch
MASTERMIND SKETCH
interior. the familiar black chair, spotlit from above. a sweet-looking [if slightly bewildered] old biddy is sitting in the chair clutching her handbag defensively in front of her chest and smiling innocently at the quizmaster. the mastermind theme tune could be fading out in the background.
QUIZMASTER
your name please
BIDDY
edith bramble
QUIZMASTER
and your...
mastermind sketch
MASTERMIND SKETCH
interior. the familiar black chair, spotlit from above. a sweet-looking [if slightly bewildered] old biddy is sitting in the chair clutching her handbag defensively in front of her chest and smiling innocently at the quizmaster. the mastermind theme tune could be fading out in the background.
QUIZMASTER
your name please
BIDDY
edith bramble
QUIZMASTER
and your...
butcher's shop sketch
BUTCHER’S SHOP SKETCH
interior. a butcher’s shop. the butcher is standing behind the counter, smiling inanely, as a customer enters the shop and approaches him. in fact, throughout the scene both butcher and customer should maintain an almost manically cheerful and enthusiastic disposition.
CUSTOMER
good morning madam. i would like to purchase a fitted kitchen, please.
BUTCHER
an...
butcher's shop sketch
BUTCHER’S SHOP SKETCH
interior. a butcher’s shop. the butcher is standing behind the counter, smiling inanely, as a customer enters the shop and approaches him. in fact, throughout the scene both butcher and customer should maintain an almost manically cheerful and enthusiastic disposition.
CUSTOMER
good morning madam. i would like to purchase a fitted kitchen, please.
BUTCHER
an...
tennis commentator sketch
THE WIMBLEDON COMMENTATOR
the commentator is of the ‘old school’ - an old fuddy-duddy type with a public school accent. think “dan maskell”.
COMMENTATOR:
and so as jock mc tavish prepares to serve in this deciding game, the hopes of british tennis rest squarely on his young shoulders… he bounces the ball… once… twice… he serves…
[pause “thwack” noise -...
tennis commentator sketch
THE WIMBLEDON COMMENTATOR
the commentator is of the ‘old school’ - an old fuddy-duddy type with a public school accent. think “dan maskell”.
COMMENTATOR:
and so as jock mc tavish prepares to serve in this deciding game, the hopes of british tennis rest squarely on his young shoulders… he bounces the ball… once… twice… he serves…
[pause “thwack” noise -...
sex therapists TV show sketch
THE SEX THERAPISTS TV SHOW
interior. a TV studio. our viewpoint should be as if we are watching the show on television. a middle-aged couple stand behind a desk or podium. behind them on the wall [or emblazoned across the front of the desk/podium] is the show’s title; “THE LOVE DOCTORS”
the couple are stereotypically american; fake orange tans, huge fluorescent white teeth and too much...
sex therapists TV show sketch
THE SEX THERAPISTS TV SHOW
interior. a TV studio. our viewpoint should be as if we are watching the show on television. a middle-aged couple stand behind a desk or podium. behind them on the wall [or emblazoned across the front of the desk/podium] is the show’s title; “THE LOVE DOCTORS”
the couple are stereotypically american; fake orange tans, huge fluorescent white teeth and too much...