May 2011
3 posts
4 tags
you couldnae make it up!
Spotted in the staffroom at work:
Containing everything you need to help and encourage any of your students having difficulties with their reading & writing.
Pity they dinnae “eat their own dogfood”, it would seem, for inside:
oh the irony!
4 tags
fanatic fantastic
The great thing about the intarwebs is that, whatever the subject area, you’ll find it has a dedicated following. These guys are so fanatical about their VWs that they’ve set up a forum to discuss everything about VW.
T’would be a churlish man indeed who would point out that it’s spelt “volkswagen” and not “volkswagon” –especially when...
4 tags
none of the above
It’s all very well having a sham referendum on whether or not to change the voting system. But, at the end of the day, the government will still win every time.
“The government consists of a gang of men exactly like you and me. They have, taking one with another, no special talent for the business of government; they have only a talent for getting and holding office. Their...
November 2010
1 post
6 tags
evil bloodsuckers
i’m reading dracula again at the moment and this time i remembered to mark a quote i’ve been meaning to note down, every time i’ve read the book, previously.
first off, as given on several legal advice websites, a description of the rights of bailiffs:
The bailiff cannot enter your house by force, but they can legally enter your property...
September 2010
2 posts
disqus-ted [not of tunbridge wells]
i did mention it in passing, in my post yesterday, but it really deserves a post of its own.
what an absolute steaming POS disqus is! - i’ve tried about half a dozen times now to migrate my comments from wordpress via blogger to tumblr, utilising disqus and its promise of making your comments acccessible from wherever you choose to lay your bloggin heid. i’ve spent literally hours,...
4 tags
tumblrweeds
in another futile attemp to kick some life back into this moribund blog, i have just spent the best part of the day importing bilge -sook my stupid brain! blog from wordpress, self hosted on my server into tumblr.
what a bleedin’ palaver, an’ no mistake guvnor!
for a start, there is no direct import from WP to tumblr, so you have to first export your WP blog to XML, then convert...
July 2010
3 posts
fugly
yes, i know it looks like a bag of shite at the moment, but i just upgraded to WP3 and it broke my bilge-theme. o well, at least i’ve made the first tentative step towards reviving this moribund heap of anger, bile and drivel.
watch this space!
[but not with too great a sense of expectation]
fugly
yes, i know it looks like a bag of shite at the moment, but i just upgraded to WP3 and it broke my bilge-theme. o well, at least i’ve made the first tentative step towards reviving this moribund heap of anger, bile and drivel.
watch this space!
[but not with too great a sense of expectation]
fugly
yes, i know it looks like a bag of shite at the moment, but i just upgraded to WP3 and it broke my bilge-theme. o well, at least i’ve made the first tentative step towards reviving this moribund heap of anger, bile and drivel.
watch this space!
[but not with too great a sense of expectation]
May 2009
12 posts
2 tags
oink!
some of you may have read the scurrilous reporting in the daily telegraph the other day, which claimed that, over the past several years, i have habitually been robbing banks and mugging old ladies. i would like to state quite categorically that these incidents were merely administrative errors on my part and i intend to pay the money back in full. i would also like to express my disgust at the...
oink!
some of you may have read the scurrilous reporting in the daily telegraph the other day, which claimed that, over the past several years, i have habitually been robbing banks and mugging old ladies.
i would like to state quite categorically that these incidents were merely administrative errors on my part and i intend to pay the money back in full. i would also like to express my disgust at...
oink!
some of you may have read the scurrilous reporting in the daily telegraph the other day, which claimed that, over the past several years, i have habitually been robbing banks and mugging old ladies.
i would like to state quite categorically that these incidents were merely administrative errors on my part and i intend to pay the money back in full. i would also like to express my disgust at...
oink!
some of you may have read the scurrilous reporting in the daily telegraph the other day, which claimed that, over the past several years, i have habitually been robbing banks and mugging old ladies.
i would like to state quite categorically that these incidents were merely administrative errors on my part and i intend to pay the money back in full. i would also like to express my disgust at...
3 tags
blinkered
y’know what? - three times in the past week or two i’ve had some dumb bitch almost slide sideways into my van, as they’ve either pulled out of a parking spot or changed lanes [without indicating] as i’ve been driving alongside them. on each occasion i’ve glanced down to see some moslem woman in the full darth vader outfit, driving along, blissfully unaware of my...
2 tags
an ode to BT's customer service
yes the title is ironic! with BT briefly in the news this week, because they’re having to lay several thousand people off because of “lower than expected profit forecasts”, it seems an ideal time for me to post about my latest fun with ‘britain’s most loathesome corporation’: about fifteen months ago, i had to sign up for phone and broadband for BT, because i...
blinkered
y’know what? - three times in the past week or two i’ve had some dumb bitch almost slide sideways into my van, as they’ve either pulled out of a parking spot or changed lanes [without indicating] as i’ve been driving alongside them.
on each occasion i’ve glanced down to see some moslem woman in the full darth vader outfit, driving along, blissfully unaware of my...
blinkered
y’know what? - three times in the past week or two i’ve had some dumb bitch almost slide sideways into my van, as they’ve either pulled out of a parking spot or changed lanes [without indicating] as i’ve been driving alongside them.
on each occasion i’ve glanced down to see some moslem woman in the full darth vader outfit, driving along, blissfully unaware of my...
blinkered
y’know what? - three times in the past week or two i’ve had some dumb bitch almost slide sideways into my van, as they’ve either pulled out of a parking spot or changed lanes [without indicating] as i’ve been driving alongside them.
on each occasion i’ve glanced down to see some moslem woman in the full darth vader outfit, driving along, blissfully unaware of my...
an ode to BT's customer service
yes the title is ironic!
with BT briefly in the news this week, because they’re having to lay several thousand people off because of “lower than expected profit forecasts”, it seems an ideal time for me to post about my latest fun with ‘britain’s most loathesome corporation’:
about fifteen months ago, i had to sign up for phone and broadband for BT, because...
an ode to BT's customer service
yes the title is ironic!
with BT briefly in the news this week, because they’re having to lay several thousand people off because of “lower than expected profit forecasts”, it seems an ideal time for me to post about my latest fun with ‘britain’s most loathesome corporation’:
about fifteen months ago, i had to sign up for phone and broadband for BT, because...
an ode to BT's customer service
yes the title is ironic!
with BT briefly in the news this week, because they’re having to lay several thousand people off because of “lower than expected profit forecasts”, it seems an ideal time for me to post about my latest fun with ‘britain’s most loathesome corporation’:
about fifteen months ago, i had to sign up for phone and broadband for BT, because...
April 2009
8 posts
2 tags
from our dead horse flogging department...
my complete, considered, unabridged and in-depth review of dave channel’s one-off red dwarf special - ‘the return to earth’, shown last night on the aforementioned channel: “….oh dear!…” has anyone else managed to stop cringeing yet?
from our dead horse flogging department...
my complete, considered, unabridged and in-depth review of dave channel’s one-off red dwarf special - ‘the return to earth’, shown last night on the aforementioned channel:
from our dead horse flogging department...
my complete, considered, unabridged and in-depth review of dave channel’s one-off red dwarf special - ‘the return to earth’, shown last night on the aforementioned channel:
from our dead horse flogging department...
my complete, considered, unabridged and in-depth review of dave channel’s one-off red dwarf special - ‘the return to earth’, shown last night on the aforementioned channel:
3 tags
spot the difference
it’s been a while since i spewed out some bilge for my eagerly waiting public and my eager wrists are grown puny and weak and unaccustomed to writing long articles. so instead, you must content yourselves with this fiendishly tricky ‘spot the difference’ puzzle. see if you can spot one major difference between these two pictures of the american president announcing plans to...
spot the difference
it’s been a while since i spewed out some bilge for my eagerly waiting public and my eager wrists are grown puny and weak and unaccustomed to writing long articles. so instead, you must content yourselves with this fiendishly tricky ‘spot the difference’ puzzle. see if you can spot one major difference between these two pictures of the american president announcing plans to...
spot the difference
it’s been a while since i spewed out some bilge for my eagerly waiting public and my eager wrists are grown puny and weak and unaccustomed to writing long articles. so instead, you must content yourselves with this fiendishly tricky ‘spot the difference’ puzzle. see if you can spot one major difference between these two pictures of the american president announcing plans to...
spot the difference
it’s been a while since i spewed out some bilge for my eagerly waiting public and my eager wrists are grown puny and weak and unaccustomed to writing long articles. so instead, you must content yourselves with this fiendishly tricky ‘spot the difference’ puzzle. see if you can spot one major difference between these two pictures of the american president announcing plans to...
February 2009
4 posts
politically incorrect
in a week where shameless television presenters have once again been outraging the great british public with their offensive comments, i think it’s time that we all just took a deep breath, relaxed and got our sense of perspective back with some good old fashioned family entertainment.
with this in mind i have designed a new funny bonkers and probably whacky character to bring a smile back...
politically incorrect
in a week where shameless television presenters have once again been outraging the great british public with their offensive comments, i think it’s time that we all just took a deep breath, relaxed and got our sense of perspective back with some good old fashioned family entertainment.
with this in mind i have designed a new funny bonkers and probably whacky character to bring a smile back...
politically incorrect
in a week where shameless television presenters have once again been outraging the great british public with their offensive comments, i think it’s time that we all just took a deep breath, relaxed and got our sense of perspective back with some good old fashioned family entertainment.
with this in mind i have designed a new funny bonkers and probably whacky character to bring a smile back...
2 tags
politically incorrect
in a week where shameless television presenters have once again been outraging the great british public with their offensive comments, i think it’s time that we all just took a deep breath, relaxed and got our sense of perspective back with some good old fashioned family entertainment. with this in mind i have designed a new funny bonkers and probably whacky character to bring a smile back...
January 2009
8 posts
cheesey goodness
today has been a great day for comedy shopping. not only did i discover the ultimate in infidel-crushing timepieces but also - while doing a quick nip round asda - i came across this magnificent product, which apparently sells like hotcakes to lonely widows and heavily moustacheod gentlemen in suspiciously tight leather trousers. i’ve heard there’s a kosher version as well, but...
cheesey goodness
today has been a great day for comedy shopping. not only did i discover the ultimate in infidel-crushing timepieces but also - while doing a quick nip round asda - i came across this magnificent product, which apparently sells like hotcakes to lonely widows and heavily moustacheod gentlemen in suspiciously tight leather trousers. i’ve heard there’s a kosher version as well, but...
cheesey goodness
today has been a great day for comedy shopping. not only did i discover the ultimate in infidel-crushing timepieces but also - while doing a quick nip round asda - i came across this magnificent product, which apparently sells like hotcakes to lonely widows and heavily moustacheod gentlemen in suspiciously tight leather trousers. i’ve heard there’s a kosher version as well, but...
2 tags
cheesey goodness
today has been a great day for comedy shopping. not only did i discover the ultimate in infidel-crushing timepieces but also - while doing a quick nip round asda - i came across this magnificent product, which apparently sells like hotcakes to lonely widows and heavily moustacheod gentlemen in suspiciously tight leather trousers. i’ve heard there’s a kosher version as well, but...
god-blimey!
i’m glad that, in a moment of boredom i decided to nip down ‘the bay’ today for a look round - otherwise i’d have missed finding the answer to the burning question “what do you get the nominally religious asian scally with no taste, who has everything?”
why the ‘fully iced out 5 time zone ALLAH hiphop bling watch’ of course!
classy!
god-blimey!
i’m glad that, in a moment of boredom i decided to nip down ‘the bay’ today for a look round - otherwise i’d have missed finding the answer to the burning question “what do you get the nominally religious asian scally with no taste, who has everything?”
why the ‘fully iced out 5 time zone ALLAH hiphop bling watch’ of course!
classy!
god-blimey!
i’m glad that, in a moment of boredom i decided to nip down ‘the bay’ today for a look round - otherwise i’d have missed finding the answer to the burning question “what do you get the nominally religious asian scally with no taste, who has everything?”
why the ‘fully iced out 5 time zone ALLAH hiphop bling watch’ of course!
classy!
2 tags
god-blimey!
i’m glad that, in a moment of boredom i decided to nip down ‘the bay’ today for a look round - otherwise i’d have missed finding the answer to the burning question “what do you get the nominally religious asian scally with no taste, who has everything?” why the ‘fully iced out 5 time zone ALLAH hiphop bling watch’ of course! classy!
December 2008
4 posts
people ten - thieves nil
i’ve been trying for the past couple of days to come up with a reasoned and considered response to the fact that the greater manchester electorate have voted 79% to 21% against the idea of allowing our thieving local councils to steal any more of our money for ‘stuff we’ve already paid them for’ and i think i’ve finally got the wording just about right.
my reasoned...
people ten - thieves nil
i’ve been trying for the past couple of days to come up with a reasoned and considered response to the fact that the greater manchester electorate have voted 79% to 21% against the idea of allowing our thieving local councils to steal any more of our money for ‘stuff we’ve already paid them for’ and i think i’ve finally got the wording just about right.
my reasoned...
people ten - thieves nil
i’ve been trying for the past couple of days to come up with a reasoned and considered response to the fact that the greater manchester electorate have voted 79% to 21% against the idea of allowing our thieving local councils to steal any more of our money for ‘stuff we’ve already paid them for’ and i think i’ve finally got the wording just about right.
my reasoned...
2 tags
people ten - thieves nil
i’ve been trying for the past couple of days to come up with a reasoned and considered response to the fact that the greater manchester electorate have voted 79% to 21% against the idea of allowing our thieving local councils to steal any more of our money for ‘stuff we’ve already paid them for’ and i think i’ve finally got the wording just about right. my reasoned...
October 2008
4 posts
2 tags
they've made you a moron
former ‘coolest man on the planet’ john lydon’s descent into ‘z-lebrity’ twattishness sinks to new depths, as he ‘stars’ in this cringe-making advert for country life butter, currently airing on british television. perhaps it wouldnae be quite so excruciatingly embarrassing if the increasingly hypocritical cunt didnae keep turning up every five minutes on...
they've made you a moron
former ‘coolest man on the planet’ john lydon’s descent into ‘z-lebrity’ twattishness sinks to new depths, as he ‘stars’ in this cringe-making advert for country life butter, currently airing on british television.
perhaps it wouldnae be quite so excruciatingly embarrassing if the increasingly hypocritical cunt didnae keep turning up every five minutes on...
they've made you a moron
former ‘coolest man on the planet’ john lydon’s descent into ‘z-lebrity’ twattishness sinks to new depths, as he ‘stars’ in this cringe-making advert for country life butter, currently airing on british television.
perhaps it wouldnae be quite so excruciatingly embarrassing if the increasingly hypocritical cunt didnae keep turning up every five minutes on...
they've made you a moron
former ‘coolest man on the planet’ john lydon’s descent into ‘z-lebrity’ twattishness sinks to new depths, as he ‘stars’ in this cringe-making advert for country life butter, currently airing on british television.
perhaps it wouldnae be quite so excruciatingly embarrassing if the increasingly hypocritical cunt didnae keep turning up every five minutes on...
August 2008
4 posts
2 tags
because the corridors of power - they're an ocean...
one of the unfortunate consequences of living in the fifty-first state of america is that we have to suffer the ball-grinding tedium that goes along with - not one but two! - general election campaigns. as well as watching the snivelling antics of our own bunch of cretins, we also have to suffer prolonged and in-depth coverage of the motherland’s election. if a US presidential wannabe...