some of you may have read the scurrilous reporting in the daily telegraph the other day, which claimed that, over the past several years, i have habitually been robbing banks and mugging old ladies.
i would like to state quite categorically that these incidents were merely administrative errors on my part and i intend to pay the money back in full. i would also like to express my disgust at the behaviour of the [former] speaker of the house of commons, who allowed me to get away with it overlooked this administrative error for so long.
i now consider the matter closed and earnestly trust that the police do too!
