today has been a great day for comedy shopping. not only did i discover the ultimate in infidel-crushing timepieces but also – while doing a quick nip round asda – i came across this magnificent product, which apparently sells like hotcakes to lonely widows and heavily moustacheod gentlemen in suspiciously tight leather trousers. i’ve heard [...]

i’m glad that, in a moment of boredom i decided to nip down ‘the bay’ today for a look round – otherwise i’d have missed finding the answer to the burning question “what do you get the nominally religious asian scally with no taste, who has everything?” why the ‘fully iced out 5 time zone [...]