anyone else seen the latest advert for HSBC airing in the UK [and who knows? - maybe worldwide]? it’s the latest in a series of adverts in their current campaign, designed to to convince us that HSBC [or 'groovy bank' as i now call it] really know their onions when it comes to conducting business across the globe, thanks to their total immersion in local customs and cultures.
a hunky [naturally! - you don't think anyone ugly would dream of opening an account with HSBC, do you?] bronzed model type, cruises the open roads across south america on a huge phallic symbol motorbike [ooh girls aren't you getting wet down below, imagining it's you throbbing between his muscley thighs instead of that harley?] all this to the accompaniment of jimi hendrix’s rendition of ‘ezy ryder’, over which some dullard murmurs bilge about HSBC’s knowledge of local cultures and customs [the depth of this understanding presumably illustrated by examples like the cutaway shot of the gyrating arses of some attractive brasilian women in very tight shorts].
now call me old-fashioned if you like, but the last few times i’ve had any dealings with banks [and funnily enough the very last time was when i tried unsuccessfully to open a business account with HSBC!], one of the things that struck me quite forcibly was that the manager’s primary concern seemed to be with rather mundane issues such as my projected cashflow, the nature of the business, the time i’d been at my current address and [the reason they eventually turned me down] a couple of hundred quid’s worth of bad debts from about ten years ago.
incredible as it may seem, at no time during my interview with HSBC, did the manager suggest we move his desk to one side, stick a bit of hendrix on the stereo and get down to some serious air-guitar soloing in his office. why! if it hadn’t been for those HSBC adverts showing me the true picture, i might have taken this chap’s behaviour as normal and formed the mistaken impression that most bank managers are tedious money obssessed bores in sensible shoes and sober suits, whose idea of heaven is foreclosing on a mortgage or getting the opportunity to apply interest on an unauthorised overdraft.
thankfully the current HSBC campaign has shown me that i was just unfortunate in happening to have come across the ‘boring apple’ in the big barrel of ‘grooviness’ that is the world of banking. so let’s all get down and rawwwwwkkk!!! to the strains of “the groovy bank theme”
